BrianandLibby.com

Although I planned on hibernating in my room, accomplishing stuff, and wallowing in my sorrow that my hubby was gone, Melissa and her superior sales ability lured me out and onto the beach at San Clemente. She is a good salesperson, for sure, but she was selling a great product!

I got some sun, got to see the surfers, walked the pier…it was beautiful. I headed back to Newport Beach, and on my way, grabbed some dinner here, and a famous chocolate covered apple (Snickers variety) here. I will let you know how that is I decided to take the scenic route home from San Clemente, and drove the Pacific Highway as the sun was starting it’s descent. It was beautiful…I had the windows down, the wind in my hair, and the radio blasting. All of a sudden, right as I start driving into Laguna Beach, this song comes on, and I’m like, are you kidding me? I thought I was on an episode of The Hills and LC was about to hop in my car! Good times.

Goodbye OC. I’ll be back soon.

So as much as I love vacation, I have to admit the last couple of nights I have gone to sleep thinking about all the things I haven’t been taking care of while I’m away. Like checking e-mail, end of month stuff for work, banking stuff…you know, the daily grind. Today is my opportunity to chill out and play catch up a little before round 2 starts tomorrow.

I’m actually realizing that I get to slowly ease back into the real world instead of just being thrust back into it full force (like Brian will be, arriving home late tonight and going straight to work tomorrow morning). Vegas will be work, and I’ll have to, like, adhere to a schedule, set my alarm, and use my brain. But it’s still in Vegas so it’s not exactly the daily grind. Then I’ll be home for one day…one very jetlagged day…and drive down to Long Island that evening for some family time. I will use all of this time to mentally gird (second time I have used that word on my blog in a one week span…wierd) myself for reality, which starts when we get home Sat evening, and wake up Sunday to head to church early where Brian will resume the role of Campus Pastor and I the role of pregnant pastor’s wife and worship leader. Then monday, it’s all back to reality!

The other day I was telling Brian how I haven’t really thought past May 3rd at all. I have nothing planned, nothing coming up to look forward to or dread…nothing. I pretty much planned life up to this wonderfully relaxing and somewhat chaotic period of travel, and didn’t look past it. I asked Brian, what will we do next? To which he replied by staring at my ever increasing belly and saying “it’s all about that kid from now on!”

So with that in mind, I will look forward to May 12th…the day we find out whether this little one is Prince or Princess, and immediately begin to design and execute a super fabulous Howe baby bedroom. With Brian leading that endeavor, I’m sure the results will be spectacular!

Last night we dropped off Scott and Rachel at the airport (boo) after I consumed 5 large king crab legs (yay)…after which I shocked my entire table by informing them that I was starving, and asking if we could stop at the Del Taco by the airport (sidenote: since arriving here, my appetite has been uncharacteristically normal…three meals a day, very little getting ravenous between meals…the crab leg incident proved to me that I am in fact still me, and I do in fact still have a very pregnant appetite)!

This morning we woke up in an empty condo (boo) which I made efforts to clean up in anticipation for our new guests, Phil and Melissa (yay)! As I scurried around putting clean linens on the bed, picking up, and supplying fresh linens (which the resort would charge us $30 for), Brian giggled and said…”you look like all the other maids.” Not sure what to make of that, but it was really funny at the time.

We have an appt with the preview center at 10. This basically means Brian and I will mentally gird ourselves before going in to endure 80 minutes of the best selling we will ever be the targets of, and try to keep in check with the fact that we do NOT need a 15 thousand dollar condo, while we are bombarded with images and facts about how much it will improve our lives. Please wish us luck. At the end of this charade, we will proudly collect a $150 gift certificate to either Marriott, or Fashion Island, a super awesome shopping center a couple miles away, or 15,000 Marriott Rewards Points. We are having a horrible time choosing one. 15,000 points is the equivalent of two nights in an ok location, or one in a super location. What would you do?

Also, yesterday I had my first Pinkberry. It was everything I dreamed it would be. I also tasted Rachel’s indulgence, a Sprinkles cupcake. Why is everything better here, including cupcakes and frozen yogurt? Which leads me to my next question, which Brian and I have asked ourselves frequently this week so far, why do we live in the Northeast?

Recap and highlights and such:

Day 1

• This resort is awesome. Probably one of the best Marriot Vaca Clubs I’ve been to. The location is perfect…nestled right on the coast, just north of Laguna Beach, just south of Balboa Island.
• We slept, ate breakfast, cracked open the puzzle (oh yeah), did a little exercising (they went to the gym, I walked all over), and headed out to Laguna Beach to see LC
• Found some awesome shops and had lunch outside at a great place called Las Brisas. Awesome tostada salad. Best homemade guac ever, including the homemade guac made tableside in cancun. The beach there is gorgeous.
• Headed back and got some good poolside time. Rach and I laid out and spent some time in the hot tub (I just stuck my feet in). The guys went to take a dip in the pool. 2 hours later we hadn’t seen them and finally found them at a remotely located pool, playing a game they “invented” called waterbounce (I named it for them…not that it was hard; it involves a ball, and being in the water, and bouncing it). I felt like I was watching Joey and Chandler invent Fireball.
• Then we headed back to shower for dinner. The boys showed up another hour later, claiming their victory over two 15 year old boys in basketball on their walk back to the condo. It was hilarious. Boys will be boys.
• Great dinner at the Rusty Pelican in Balboa. I heart shrimp scampi.

Day 2

• Got up and at ‘em, ate breakfast, and out the door by 8:30 to drive to San Diego, what I now call the most underrated city in America.
• Intended to go to the Wild Animal Park, but ended up at the Zoo instead. No worries! It was awesome! We took a guided bus tour, spent some extra time with the pandas and meerkats, and called it a day. Highlights: the wild animal show and watching this wolf that looked like a big white dog howl at the entire audience.
• Had my first IN-N-OUT burger. Deeeeeeeeelish! I want to have my second before I leave here. Best fast food burger of all time, hands down.
• Checked out Pacific Beach. Not my fave location, but had a nice time laying out and digesting the aforementioned adventure.
• Changed (in the car again, we were quite the traveling show) and headed to the gaslamp district for evening festivities.
• The Gaslamp District/Quarter is quite possible the coolest place I have EVER been. I have never seen so many restaurants in my life! Another fave thing about the GD, all the restaurants have outdoor seating and heat lamps (it gets chilly here when the sun goes down)!
• The boys caught a bball game at a cool tavern, Rach and I did some shopping.
• Dinner at Masala, the coolest Indian place ever with the best Baingan Bharta I’ve ever had. It would be worth the trip to San Diego just for this eggplant delight.
• Drove all the way home veeeeery sleepy and veeeery sunburned.
• Tried to sleep past seven am
• Failed at trying to sleep past seven am

Just got here and although it was hard to be excited at first b/c I’m alone (the rest of my party will arrive shortly), I’m getting over it quickly. Something about the coast and the ocean and the palm trees…the view outside of my bedroom window (coast, golf course and ocean), the resort (absolutely gorgeous), and, to top it all off - the free wi-fi I will be blogging from my patio all week.

I’m heading off to Trader Joe’s to get some essentials for the morning and scavenge some dinner. I will pick Brian up at 10:30 Pacific time which will force me to start adjusting to my new time zone for the next 12 days. Let the fun begin! (I brought a 1,000 piece puzzle…the fun will begin very shortly! I am such a loser!)

Today is just beautiful. There’s no other word for it. And it’s a great day to get stuff done outside (and trust me, we are not lacking in outdoor chores to do). But instead I’ve been buzzing around inside all day. It feels just as good to get some stuff done around the house…as long as the windows are open. For some reason, even though I have lots of packing and cleaning to do, (I always like to clean my house before I go out of town…then I know I at least have one thing to look forward to when I come back to reality!) I am cleaning out closets and doing chores that have been on my to do list for weeks.

It always astounds me how hard it is to let go of old things. I did get rid of 3 old prom dresses, but couldn’t let go of some bridesmaid dresses that I’m 99.9% sure will never be used again. Is it so bad to hang onto them for sentimental value…or maybe for future dress up clothes? Hey, Brian has a box in the attic labeled “sentimental T-shirts.” Maybe I will label the box of prom dresses “what was I thinking?”

I also learned that I horde empty shoe boxes. I just broke down 8 of them and put them in the recycle bin. That is just ridiculous. The only reason I would use them is to store things that I shouldn’t be hording anyways. Time to let go.

Overall, three large bags of shoes clothes and purses are moving on to better homes. And probably another one, after I give some friends who will fit in them (as I no longer can) first dibs at giving them a new home.

The result? More room-and some semblance of organization-in my closets, which will soon be overflowing again when we move everything from the future nursery closet into them. Hey, you’ve gotta start somewhere, right?

For the last couple of months, the healthiest breakfast I’ve been consuming has been none other than the egg sandwich. What can I say? I love them. Always have. They used to be a treat - something for a Friday or for the loose change in my car, but now they’re just pretty much part of my day. The issue is, now that I’ve been consuming them more…consistently, I’ve realized that the egg sandwiches readily available to me just don’t measure up. Within a 5 mile radius I have:

• Dunkin Donuts: There’s actually a couple of DDs near my house, right on my way to work. And I’m sure they’ve spent millions on this “oven toasted” campaign but, well, the egg sandwiches just aren’t good! Definitely not on a bagel - too dry and bland, and who knows what’s in that egg “patty.” It’s a little better on an english muffin, but they don’t always have them.
• McDonalds: I’m not gonna lie, I love a good egg mcmuffin here and there. I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but they’re kind of small! Sue me - I’m famished every day by 11 and I want something a little more satisfying. Besides, who knows what goes into the McD’s specialty. There’s also the issue that if I go to McDonald’s for breakfast, I WILL be eating a hash brown with my meal and, well, I just don’t need to be eating one of those every day.
• Jitters: This cute little coffee shop around the corner from my house makes egg sandwiches the REAL way. With a fried egg cooked fresh, yolk broken, a piece of cheese and a toasted bagel. However twice now I’ve gone and the bagel is on the stale side. I don’t know where they get them from, but I’m thinking the answer is “yesterday.”
• Uncommon Grounds: Definitely the best egg sandwich in the area. Lately it’s been an egg patty, but a better one than DD, and definitely the best bagel of all the contenders. Unfortunately this is barely within that 5 mile radius. I also have to park in downtown Saratoga and go in and order. So while this sandwhich gets a 9.5 for taste, it gets a 2 for convenience and accessibility.

So that’s my dilemma. Not to mention the obvious, I’m spending way too much money on these and consuming way too much processed food and white carbs. Sometimes I feel inspired and I make my own: a whole wheat bagel toasted to perfection, a fried egg cooked to my liking, and American cheese (hey, I’m in a hurry - no time for cheddar)! I even wrap it up in foil and slice it - then immediately take it out and eat it

How sad that I think about this so much. If you know of a good egg sandwich, or an equally satisfying (and portable!) breakfast alternative (although I’m convinced no such thing exists), please let me know!

…and dreaming of the coast, simultaneously! I am officially on the countdown to vacation. To be honest, I’ve been counting down since we booked it, but it’s just closer now so, well, counting down is easier (smaller numbers). The official count? Let’s just say 4 days from now I’ll be settled into my villa on the Newport Coast, unpacked, with a kitchen full of food and a full week…with an empty schedule!

Speaking of that empty schedule, who has suggestions for awesome things to do on the Newport Coast, in Orange County, or even LA or San Diego? I am 4 months pregnant and therefore plan to minimize time in the hideous tankini I bought for this trip, which leaves beach/pool time (I’m hoping) to a minimum. So far we have plans to catch a Dodgers game (thanks Glen!), check out Catalina Island, probably cruise through Hollywood in the fullsize sedan we rented after we thought better of the convertible we originally rented, and are considering a trip down to the San Diego Zoo. Those of you who know me are probably wondering why I haven’t mentioned Disneyland. Those of you who read my blog know that is soooo last year!

So anyways, as for the whole coasting thing…I have pretty much nothing going on until I leave. Work is winding down this week - I’m still working but I have zero lunches and only 1 appointment, which just makes the day a bit less stressful. I have no band practice Thursday night, no plans Friday night, no plans Saturday, and Sunday all I have to do is get on a plane. Unfortunately I have to get on a plan without Brian but I am willing to sacrifice traveling with him considering it resulted in the 50,000 skymiles we had originally spent on my flight being redeposited into my account. Long story - good ending though! I’d have to guess Brian is not so sad about missing out on flying across the country with me complaining about being hungry or tired, or my back hurting, or my greatest fear: throwing up the entire way there (let’s just say I’ve heard some horror stories). I’m sure it will all be fine and I’ll see him shortly after I get there. Then there’s just one thing on the agenda - RELAX and ENJOY! When was the last time you took a vacation? Go book one! You can be as happy as I am right now!

And for all you who are terrified at the prospect of an entire week of bloglessness here on BrianandLibby.com (anybody?!?) - YES the resort has wireless! So we’ll be in touch.

PS - anyone read any good books lately? I’m bringing Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen. I think I’ll have time for at least one more.

I’ve heard this phrase alot and didn’t really ever know what it meant. I mean, I knew what it meant textbook-wise; I could break down the words and their meaning for you. But only recently have I been seeing it played out.

Our friends Seth and Pam, whose loss still has my heart mourning and my head spinning, posted on their blog this week. Reading what Seth wrote made the concept a little more concrete for me. One of the many definitions of grace is “the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.” In that case, God has been showering Seth and Pam with a huge wave of his much needed grace. Please pray that he will continue to do so.

“Only you can see the good in broken things. You took my heart of stone, and you made it whole, and set this prisoner free.” Bethany Dillon

Note: This weekend, Brian and I got some truly horrible news. A good friend of Brian’s was, with his wife, expecting the birth of their first child anyday now, and instead they got the worst possible news - the baby didn’t make it. They still had to deliver their child, and have a funeral soon after. News like this stops you in your tracks and makes your conversations with God very honest and, well a little bit perplexing. It makes you ask the really hard questions. I wrote the following blog months ago for another purpose and never needed to post it. It somehow seemed appropriate today. I hope that this in no way undermines the pain of this and other similar situations, but having asked “Why” a lot in my past, it’s the only answer I’ve come up with so far.

Several times a week, I give my sister a call and she puts me on the phone with one of (or both of) my twin five-year old nieces. Lately, I’ve noticed a general trend in the conversation…every other word they say is “WHY?” This game has gotten old to me pretty quickly, since I don’t have kids (yet), and I think that also means I have less patience than those who do! I just got frustrated with them asking the same question over and over…it seemed so childish. Besides, they’re five; no answer I offered could possibly make sense to them. It was beyond what they could understand, but they still kept asking: “Why?”

I wonder if that’s what God thinks of us when we ask Him to explain Himself to us. When we question the God who created the universe and holds all of it together effortlessly while simultaneously attending to each of our individual needs and growing us up to be more like Him. When I think about it that way, it seems downright childish to ask Him why He does what He does. But He knows the cries of my heart, and he knows that sometimes I can’t understand how He would allow certain things to (or not to) happen…and sometimes I just want to know WHY.

A few weeks ago, I got an e-mail from a good friend whose father is battling cancer. It brought me back to four years ago, when my dad was diagnosed with a fast-growing cancer, and given three months to live. When I got that news, I was completely speechless with the exception of one word… WHY? “God my dad is the cream of the crop! He loves you and he serves you. He’s a great dad and husband. He has daughters getting married and grandkids being born in the next year. Why him? Why now?”

In my earthly view, I like answers. I like to see the puzzle pieces fit together, I like order and logic. When I have questions, I look for answers - it’s natural to me. It’s how the world around me works, and I’ve been trained to follow suit. It’s hard for me to comprehend that God isn’t confined to function within those boundaries. He isn’t confined by time or space. He is omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent. It hurts my brain just to try to take that in.
There are a lot of questions I’ll never have an answer to. And every day I hear something else that brings on even more. How do I keep myself from asking them? I have to, eventually, let go of my longing for answers and just go with what I know. That God loves me with an everlasting love. That He is doing a work in me that I can’t even begin to comprehend. That He is in control of every detail in my life. That He wants to make me more like Himself every day. That His plans are to prosper me and give me a future. That all things really do work together for good. That I will spend eternity with Him.

Somehow when I focus on what God has told me, questions about the things He hasn’t told me eventually start to fade away. And I remember that God is good, all the time. And I’m able to trust Him without knowing WHY.

“God never promised us a risk-free existence. Bad things happen to good people. And good things happen to bad people. And that causes tremendous angst…unless we look at life through the eyes of eternity.” –Mark Batterson, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day

Please say a prayer for this family as they grieve, and ask the hard questions, and seek God in the midst of the most horrible of circumstances.