BrianandLibby.com

This past Monday night my teammates and I  lost Game 1 in the renowned Capital District Church Softball League best of three championship series…we lost 11-8 and we didn’t play particularly well, so my hopes are high for us winning game 2 tomorrow night. However that is not the point of this entry in the blogging world.

Have you ever had a smell just take you back to a certain place in your life…maybe it’s a certain food, the smell of popcorn at a carnival, or fresh ocean air. I had one of those moments on Monday night. I arrived early to the field for our game and had some time to walk around a bit…the smell of the grass - the dirt…my freshly washed uniform…the warm summer night…I was instantly transported back to Jaycee Park in rural Chatham, Ontario where I spent the bulk of my childhood summer nights playing little league baseball.  Not a care in the world….just me and my friends doing what we loved most…it’s amazing how smell recall works.

Fast Forward almost twenty years later…me and my friends playing a game that we love and for a couple of hours every Monday night we turn into little leaguers again and we don’t have to think about bills or work or responsibilities…Where are your smells taking you?

So yesterday I called on Dr. Browne. Dr. Browne has a practice in Cairo, NY. It is far away. Mapquest it.

He’s definitely well into his 60s. He kind of looks like…well he’s kind of short with whitish gray hair and he doesn’t really show a lot of expression/emotion. His white coat goes well past his knees. He moves really slowly and his response time is longer than what I would consider average. Granted, I’m a rep so some people choose to ignore me altogether rather than respond, so maybe I’m not the best judge of that. I’ve never heard him speak or seen him smile. Am I painting a good enough picture of him here?

So I waited for him near the nurses station and he eventually came out of his office. He didn’t really acknowledge me, but once he was behind the nurses station he looked up and made a “signature” gesture (which in the Pharma world means “do you need a signature” and/or “if I sign your tablet will you leave”). I offered him the tablet for signature and started to say or ask something well rehearsed. He didn’t respond at all and continued to sign for what felt like an eternity, during which I pondered what exactly was going on. Was he hard of hearing or was he blatantly ignoring me? Either way, I thought it best to cease speaking and thank him for the signature as I made my way out. It was an entirely awkward experience. A very “what happened in there” moment.

So today I was riding with my teammate and he mentioned that he needed to go to Dr. Browne’s office. I filled him in on the encounter and he didn’t really say much. Just kind of chuckled under his breath. Maybe he found it humorous how I was learning about each of my Docs’ idiosyncracies ever so painfully. Maybe it brought him back to his early days as a rep. I don’t have a clue. But I wasn’t looking forward to going back to Dr. Browne’s.

So fast forward, we’re standing in the same spot waiting for the great Doctor. He shuffles out to us and communicates via a familiar “signature” gesture. Marc says something along the lines of “Dr. Browne, while you’re signing, I wanted to ask you…” Again, probably not too different from what I’d said a day before…a scripted and framing question. Dr. Browne slowly looks up and pulls something out of his pocket. He holds up a small, hand-written, laminated sign while staring Marc square in the eyes:

DON’T ASK ME QUESTIONS.
JUST TELL ME STUFF.

And the two of them broke out into raucous laughter. I felt like I had been punk’d. Marc then proceeded to HUG Dr. Browne who was now smiling from ear to ear. He was a different man! It was perhaps the most entertaining stunt I had seen. Did he make the sign just for me? No. Did they plan it? No, Marc just knew he’d pull out the sign if he said the right (or should I say wrong) thing. Is Dr. Browne perhaps one of the more hilarious people I’ve encountered all year? YES! He is like 65 and he totally punked me. I have a totally new respect for him. Well done Dr. Browne, well done.

For those of you who don’t know, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer when I was 19. The wonderful thing about it was that by the time I found out I had it, they’d already removed it. I think that’s the best way to find out you have cancer. I was getting my thyroid removed for something else, and the pathology report showed papillary carcinoma (def: small, early stage cancer way inside my thyroid). Since they didn’t know that it was there until after they removed my thyroid, I guess they hadn’t taken all of the precautions they would have if they’d known it was cancerous from the start. So long story short, I had to have some other testing and treatment done to make sure it was all gone.

Fast forward 8 years and I have not really followed up much since. Standard follow up is a total body scan 2 years after and every 5 years thereafter. They basically want to make sure there are no thyroid cells left anywhere in your body. If there are any left, they assume they’re cancerous and want to get rid of them. Sounds like a pretty good plan to me.

I saw one endocrinologist a few years ago who basically said it wasn’t something to be concerned about and I could get away with some periodic blood tests to detect thyroid function and avoid the process (and it is a process) of Radioiodine Total Body Scanning. Well, that just didn’t make me sleep very well at night, and this past Christmas I promised my mom I would see a new doctor and get a second opinion (and a scan).

So here I am (better late than never) finally getting this taken care of and it turns out it truly is a cumbersome process. I remember something about avoiding iodine before you take radioactive iodine but I don’t remember it being a nuisance. The premise for the low-iodine diet is as follows. The scan detects thyroid cells only because of a diagnostic dose of radioactive iodine (I-I31) you drink two days prior. Thyroid tissue relies on iodine to produce hormones. If you deprive your body of iodine long enough, you deplete your iodine stores, and your thyroid is “hungry” for iodine. When you drink the radioactive iodine (or “glow in the dark” iodine, as I like to think of it) after a period of deprivation, your thyroid will absorb more, and the scan will more accurately detect any cell function. This is a no joke test…you have to come in 5 mornings that week to get all sorts of shots to prepare your body for the test, so if you’re going to do it, you’ve gotta go all out and do it right.

So I finally scheduled mine and last week I got a 5 page packet in the mail with a list of all the things I could and couldn’t eat. Guess what? Iodine is in EVERYTHING! I think this is way worse than the Daniel Fast. Here’s the (very) short list:

• No iodized salt or sea salt (duh). Plain salt is fine (the catch: any label that says salt is an ingredient doesn’t specify which kind of salt, so you have to avoid anything you’re not sure about).
• No dairy
• No eggs
• No seafood
• None of the following additives: carrageen, agar-agar, algin, alginates(whaaaa???)
• No cured or corned foods (including lunch meat)
• No bread products with iodate dough conditioners (and how am I supposed to know which is which???)
• No food, vitamins or medication with red food dye
• No chocolate (it contains dairy…figures)
• No molasses (no idea why that is)
• No soy products

Is that not the most absurd list of all time? Consider that I eat 2 meals a day out of a lunchbox sized cooler in my car. On any given morning it contains yogurt (dairy - can’t eat), grape nuts (contains salt, can’t eat), hummus (contains salt, can’t eat), cheese (dairy, can’t eat), crackers (bread and salt, double whammy), and carrot sticks (yay! one permissable snack). I also eat lunch with doctor’s offices most days. This would present a significant challenge. But then I found out that my training is finally scheduled and overlaps with the dates of my low iodine diet. I’ve heard training is notorious for the amount of food served…3 full meals a day plus 2 snacks ranging from ice cream sundaes to nacho bars. So now I will be “that girl” at training who sits in the corner and eats her “special” food…carrot sticks, grilled chicken with no broth injected and no salt, and matzo crackers. 

All jokes aside, it is a small price to pay for the comfort of knowing you have a clean bill of health. But if you ask me, there is nothing healthier than keeping a good sense of humor!

Today I had the heat on in my car. Friday, it will be so hot that I won’t be able to sleep without my A/C on. Aaaah, the beauty of Upstate New York!

Very awesome things have been happening. The following are some of them:

• Jeremy and Shelley got married! Yay! It was one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever been to. I don’t know what else to say…it was just beautiful (and very emotional…not a dry eye in the place). And although we know they are very excited to be on their honeymoon, we just really want them to get home and start being our neighbors!
• Yesterday I found out I am keeping my job. There have been rumors of “re-optimization” (def. you might keep your job, you might have to move to a different one, and we just might not find you one at all). After 2 hours of attempting patience while waiting to hear which group I fell into, I was pleased to read that my job (including my territory and the products I sell) are not changing. And I get to go to training soon, but not until summer is officially over. Awesome, awesome, and awesome.
• Brian has been very sick. This is not the awesome part. Yesterday the nice urgent care doctor said he has sinusitis and bronchitis. Soon after, I started to feel symptoms as well. I am usually of the persuasion that once you are getting sick, you are getting sick, so just suck it up and be sick. But this time I was really hoping not to get sick so I went out and bought lots of OJ and the like, and before heading to the register, decided to give Airborne a try. I’m not usually into medicine in general (I know, ironic) and especially not vitamins/herbals, but I heard that this stuff worked and for five bucks, it was a pretty safe gamble. Although anything effervescent that you drop into a glass and then drink grosses me out (childhood Alka-Seltzer trauma), I gave it a go. Guess what? I literally felt better in like 3 hours. So I took it again last night and twice more this morning. I still have that slight “you are getting over some serious post-nasal drip” feeling, but I’m not stuck to the couch and I feel pretty, well, awesome! THANK YOU AIRBORNE!
• My DV-R sometimes just stops recording things (or Brian does, I’m not sure which). And last week one of those things was the aforementioned “The Closer.” I was SO mad and refused to watch it online on my tiny computer screen, especially since one of the show’s perk’s is the fact that I can watch it in HD. Well, last night while the Airborne was still kicking in (but I was passed out on the couch) I remembered that TBS has an on demand channel on which you can watch episodes of the network’s original series’. TNT and TBS are both owned by the same company…The Closer is a TNT original series…do you not know where I’m going with this? I got to watch it on demand for free. Just one more reason I love The Closer.
• Today I had a good day at work. Although this may seem too moderate to be awesome, I really needed a good day. A day that felt normal, that contained only mild rejection (which I am accustomed to and therefore was not shocked at and subsequently emotional about), that included a few great conversations with doctors, and that almost reached my company’s required daily call goal. As you may guess, I have not had numerous good days at work, so having one today qualifies as, you guessed it…AWESOME!

I know I’ve been kind of silent. I think that it’s because when I finally sit down at my computer at the end of the day, I’m a little brain dead. That is still the case right now, but I’m blogging anyways (which you know, because you’re reading this). Here’s some things:

• I just ate a Big Mac. That is part of the reason I’m blogging. We were at church until 9:30 and by then we were famished and cooking was totally not in the cards. When we got in the car, Big Macs came up (not sure how) and I told Brian I’d never had one. So he said we were going to get one for me. It was as delicious as it was messy. No wonder there’s an obesity crisis in America, they’re three bucks. I wonder how long it will be until I have another one. Wondering why this is part of the reason I’m blogging? Well, I think my stomach needs some time to digest it (literally) before I attempt to sleep.
• My job is interesting…in some ways, everything I thought it would be, and in some ways, very different. Before I started working out in the field on my own, my boss warned me, “For the first 6 months you will come home every day feeling rejected, disappointed and like you’re going to lose your job.” Don’t worry, she didn’t stop there! She continued, “You won’t lose your job, just keep going and every day it will get a little better.” I repeat this to myself several times a day. If you ask me at any given time how my job is going, I may say anything from “horrible” to “awesome” and my answer will relate directly to my most recent call (sales call). So everyday I just make sure that I get slightly better instead of slightly worse. As long as I keep chipping away, I’m satisfied that things are moving in the right direction.
• Today I put 300 miles on my car driving out to Margaretville and Walton. They’re a couple hours from here. I have two doctors out there. Guess what? They were both out today, for various reasons. One’s office was just closed for no apparent reason. The other was at the county fair…along with all of his PA’s and NP’s and anyone else who could sign to receive samples. So I drove for 5 hours without making a single call. Also, there is no cell reception or radio on the majority of the drive. I only had 3 CD’s in my car. I may never listen to them again.
• I got my new car (Chevy Impala). It’s blue. I wanted anything but blue. But who cares? It’s free. It’s also a little on the geriatric side if you ask me (no offense to anyone with an Impala, but I feel like it’s too grown up for me…I have been driving a little compact car for 5 years, and am pretty used to it). In all honesty, I’m actually starting to really like it. It is spacious and drives smooth and it seats 6 (one extra in the middle of the front seat). It has lots of compartments and 3 things I can plug stuff into (what are those called?). Growing to love this car just gives me one more reason to anticipate being a senior citizen. Eating a REAL breakfast every day, walking in the mall, early bird specials and an Impala. Sign me up.
• Speaking of breakfast, I have gotten in the habit of bringing all of my food to “work” with me every day. I bring a little cooler with breakfast (yogurt and grape nuts), lunch (usually carrots, hummous and triscuits…I pick up some tuna or chicken salad if I really want a treat), water and a sparkling water (as a little afternoon treat). Every morning I feel like I’m going to kindergarten with my cooler lunch box and all of my snacks. But there’s nothing like pulling an ice cold Polar with lime out at 3pm to get you through until 5pm Besides, the cooler keeps me from eating fast food…for the most part. Ok, I got a quesadilla today but only because I was depressed about driving all over New York State with nothing to show for it. I’ll probably need to pack extra food to keep me full now that I know how good Big Macs are.

There’s more but my Big Mac is settled now and I think my stomach, and the rest of my body for that matter, is ready for bed.

1. Because what will be will be. Worry either way, you’ll still have to go through whatever ends up happening.
2. Because it is a waste of time, energy, and uncharacteristically high blood pressure.
3. Because when you worry like crazy and then everything is fine you look back and realize how much energy and time you wasted worrying…and you feel stupid.
4. Because when you worry like crazy and then things really do go wrong, all you’ve done is cause yourself additional angst, because you worried about it before it even happened!
5. Because it just is!

So how come I still can’t keep myself from worrying? It is more like a physiological response than something I can decide to or not to do. When will I ever learn?!

As is expected, I have recently been bombarded by back to school messages in every store I shop in, and with every ad I receive. Although I’ve grown accustomed to this shamelessly early promotion, I was surprised this year that seeing the Back to School ads still makes me cringe, even though nothing really changes for me this September. I don’t start school, my job doesn’t change…so why do these signs still have such a ”gloom and doom” effect on me?

In other news, I am happy to report that although I was concerned that my general enthusiasm for Christmas was beginning to wane, yesterday I thought about Christmas and immediately became excited and overwhelmed (a standard response for me). Only 4 and a half months to go until the “most wonderful time of the year.” Yippee! Alas, all is still right in my world

• Just finished up this past Monday’s episode of The Closer. I’m pretty happy with this season so far. What’s up with Brenda…is she menopausal??? No seriously, when she and Fritz had that conversation at the end that was all I could figure out. Isn’t she too young? If you have input, please let me know, as I am quite confused.
• Colbie Caillat’s new CD “Coco” is out. It is awesome. I randomly found her b/c one of her songs was on a friend’s myspace a few months ago. She wasn’t even signed yet but was getting some serious attention on myspace. It drove me nuts b/c there were only 5 songs posted there and I wanted a whole CD! Well now I have it. Go buy it, it is really good.
• Last night I got to hop over to Syracuse to see my mom and sister and neices. I had to go to some of the more remote offices in my territory: Canajoharie (about 1 hour into my trip to the ‘cuse) and Margaretville (equidistant from Syr and Alb…VERY FAR from both places). So I had dinner with the fam and we celebrated Emily’s birthday. It was a blast.
• HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Brian as well. Although it is his birthday, I am quite focused on myself this year, as I am trying to lose my title in our household of “worst gift giver of all time.” Don’t feel bad, I really am. I give gifts the way I want to receive them. But Brian wants to receive gifts the opposite way I do. It is quite complex but I finally figured it out and I think I’m golden this year. I will let you know when he opens it!
• This is my first full week in the field. I don’t know how to put it into words. Let’s just say I’m enjoying the challenge, but I am very happy tomorrow is Friday!