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Today is my third Father’s Day without my dad. My sisters and I were hoping to convene in NYC and spend the day together, but that didn’t work out, so I didn’t really have any special plans. To be honest, sometimes it’s easier just to not focus on the fact that I have no one to send a card to.

This morning at church I couldn’t help but focus on him. It was an awesome service and Pastor Buddy and his Dad (affectionately known as “The Chuckster”) talked about the importance of affirmation and expressing pride and approval from fathers to their children. I guess I never realized that it was that hard for Fathers to do that, because my dad made it seem effortless. Here are some of the things that I remember when I think about my dad, which is, on average, about 100 times a day:

• Of all his nicknames for the three of us girls, one of his favorites was “Champ.”
• I used to sit and play piano for hours. He would sit and listen (to the same songs over and over) for hours, like there was no where else in the world he’d rather be. He would yell “Brava” and clap after every song.
• He would play tennis with us every chance he got. He was really, really good. He said if we ever beat him he would buy us a car. We should never have been him but we all ended up with cars anyways. He always let us win a game here and there.
• He would not only show up at my tennis matches, he would bring pizza for the team and take us all out to Friendly’s after.
• He told all of my friends they were his “4th daughter.” They loved it.
• He was named the top Stockbroker in his target market, but he still managed to make it to 5 chorus concerts and 2 plays every year, camera and videocamera in hand…and of course he’d take me and my friends to Friendly’s after.
• He always took each of his girls on individual Daddy-daughter dates, and we ALWAYS chose shopping. He would go to any store and stay as long as we wanted, as long as there were chairs outside the dressing room. He’d talk on his cell phone but he’d put it down as soon as I walked out to model an outfit. He didn’t care how much it cost, his only criteria were that it was modest, and that it made me happy.
• He had a brand new Lexus SUV when I was in high school. He would let me take it to school, and he would drive my hunter green 2-door Buick Skylark to meet clients.

I guess what I’m saying is, I never realized my dad had to put effort into spending time with us, or telling us he was proud of us, or telling us how much he loved us. I’ll never know if he really did do it consciously or if it was just an outpouring of his heart. Either way, he did it consistently and unconditionally. I think that’s pretty cool. And although I can’t send him a card, bake him a cake, or give him a kiss today, I know that today and every day I’m a living testament to the investments he made into me for the first 22 years of my life. And although I can’t hear him say it anymore, I know he’s looking down on me, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is proud.